In the navy-blue SUV rental, we traveled down a two-lane road through the backfields of Tennessee. Later in the week, my husband would be a groomsman in Memphis, but for now it was us and the sun, windows down, volume up. I felt my alter ego, Summertime Melissa, emerge on that drive. Once the school year ended, tests and papers evaluated, and grades submitted it took time for Summertime Melissa to emerge. I reclined in the seat with my legs stretched onto the dashboard as the radio gifted me with Brad Paisley’s anthem, “Summertime.”

These days, it’s rare that singing brings me pure joy. I still have moments of that free-wild abandoned-I-believe-I-have-perfect-pitch-kind of singing, because in 2021 the humming began.

I have no recollection of the actual start date, but I was told it lasted awhile, maybe five or ten minutes at a time. My husband became, understandably, annoyed. Completely unaware I made any noise at all, I apologized and moved on. The hum morphed into a variety of tones and lasted longer. Again, I don’t recall creating any sound. My husband continually and calmly brought it to my attention while I bit my tongue, turned it upside down, anything to alter how I held my mouth. Inevitably I’d relax into my tasks and the hum would return.

Eventually, I realized the sounds correlated to the pain from my rheumatoid arthritis.  

After three years of humming, which transformed into a variety oftones, then strayed into singing now and then, something had to bedone. So, I mentioned it in therapy. Her immediate response, “Oh,you’re trying to soothe yourself. It’s your vagus nerve. It basically runs through your body, passes near your vocal cords.”

WHAT?!

With this knowledge, I began reading about the vagus nerve and the fact that it cannot be controlled.

By humming, my vagus nerve drew vibrations down into my body to soothe me and ease my pain. My rheumatoid arthritis effects all of my joints. Inflammation is found in soft tissue as well.

I still don’t know when I hum. Strangers comment how happy I must be to sing all the time. Over the years my sounds evolved into singing, sometimes gibberish, sometimes “Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen.

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